Advice Switch Up

I was recently chatting with a friend and she was speaking about how she’s in a season of life that feels difficult. She’s extremely busy at work (good problem) long distance from her boyfriend (bad problem) and at an age where life feels…. Urgent? Unfamiliar? Unknown? (24) and while I’m not much older than her… I do have just a few extra years of experience when it comes to anxiety and future tripping. For those unfamiliar with the term “future tripping” it’s when you worry about something that you have almost zero actual facts about that may or may not happen sometime in the future and instead of dealing with it when the thing actually happens, you talk yourself into circles of doom. That’s my experience with it, anyway. Back to my point…… I had a bit of a revelation. (And yes revelation feels like a very dramatic word for this tiny switch up, I agree with you.) Come to think of it, this post might be ridiculous now that I’m really putting it down into words. But here I go anyway. This is what Substack is for right?

Words are powerful, and validation is helpful. But validation can sometimes feel like an excuse to stay in the future tripping loop. At least to ME. I find it to be a lot more constructive to say the words “So what? You can handle hard things”. Clearly this doesn’t apply to EVERY situation in life… but you know what maybe it does? Maybe looking at the times in our life when we’re overwhelmed and stressed out and worried could be made to feel a little bit better if we started to look at these times with a bit more confidence and chutzpah.

There is an air of laziness in our twenties when life gets hard. I think twenty somethings often feel insecure or ill-equipped to handle all the life changes that come in this decade, and as most of us reading this know… there’s a llllotttttt of change in this decade of life. To validate only half of the narrative feels weak in a way. It’s nice to tell someone “you’re so right, that is really hard. What can we do to make it feel easier?” Or “Just do what makes you happy! Life shouldn’t feel so hard!” But……..LIFE IS HARD, SAMANTHA! THATS OK! Tell me I can handle it!

Maybe I’m projecting, or maybe this will be helpful to someone, somewhere, on the planet. It was helpful to my friend! But the next time you’re in this future tripping loop… remind yourself that you can handle hard times. Then, stop telling yourself how hard everything is. Handle it. Good things usually come to us in times of stress. Whether that be experience, confidence, or new gained skills. You got this, you can do hard things. Buck up!